


Caught in the act

by mackietommo



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: ALLISON WAS ONLY IN THE TEXT, F/M, M/M, Nobody Dies, idk - Freeform, read end notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2141427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackietommo/pseuds/mackietommo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott hates his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught in the act

Scott is a nice person as far as he is concern.

He helps people, he tries to save everyone and everything, he uses his werewolf powers for good. He pets dogs and feeds cats (even though, cats basically maim him) because he's a fucking nice person.

So, he doesn't know why, for all people, this thing happens to him.

This thing meaning seeing Stiles and Derek having sex in the kitchen.

Well, in their defense. It  _is_ Derek's kitchen. Because basically, Scott is in the safety of Derek's home. On the other hand, nobody told him that Derek, who is like a big brother to him, is frickling fracking his best friend.

So, this scene can go both ways. He either let them get off first before talking to them or he should scream like a person who sees a bloody murder.

Eh, he's leaning on his second option.

"MY EYES! MY VIRGIN, BEAUTIFUL EYES!" Scott screams.

He watches Derek and Stiles panic -- and Jesus Christ, he can see Derek's dick, he will never, e _ver_  going to forget this moment. He is traumatised -- and to put some clothes on.

"SCOTT!" The both of them exclaim.

"Somebody fucking explain this thing to me or I will go out of my mind!"

"We were having sex!" Stiles replies. "Then, you ruined it!"

"You were having sex in the kitchen!"

"So? Can you at least knock first before going in?"

"THERE'S NO KITCHEN DOOR!"

"Semantics, dude."

Scott sighs, scandalously and points at the both of them. "The both of you, in the living room now. I need to know when, where this thing happened -- and Jesus Christ, put some clothes on, Derek."

Derek frowns. "Why are you only asking  _me_ to put some clothes on?"

"I always see Stiles naked, okay. My nightmares about his dick are over."

Derek looks at Scott and Stiles, back and forth. There's this thing in his face, like he's mad. No.

Like he's.... jealous? Not really.

Oh, God. He's looking at Stiles like Stiles is a prey. Jesus Christ, this is what he gets from seeing his two best friends fuck, sees Derek naked and now  _this._

"Get each other off, oh my God. I can't take the fucking sexual tension."

He walks out the kitchen and hears Stiles gasp.

So, it begins.

*

Scott spends an hour in his life listening to heavy metal rock because Derek can't stop moaning and Stiles is a fucking screamer.

He hates them. A lot.

The good news is, he and Allison can bond over this and probably laugh at Stiles and Derek every time.

The bad news is, Allison just asked him the size of Derek Hale's dick.

He hates her as well.

Stiles and Derek go out in the living room, fully clothed but both look fucked out. They look blissed. Probably the post coital of orgasm.

Which he just saw. And heard.

He hates himself, too.

"When did this start?" he demands. He will not left in the dark, okay. Even though he did saw enough.

"Don't get mad," Stiles says. He breathes deeply and answers, "At your house."

"At our -- oh, sweet, baby Jesus." Scott gapes. "Where? Our kitchen table?"

Derek nods.

"DUDE, WE CUT OUR VEGETABLES AND FISHES AND MEAT AND STUFF THERE!"

Derek just shrugs. "You eat here sometimes, too. I never hear you complain."

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW!" Scott screams. "Okay, the couch?"

"Your house's couch?" Stiles asks. "That's where the first time Derek rode me,"

Scott's mouth forms a perfect 'O'. He can't believe this conversation. "The floor?!"

"Technically, it's called the carpet but yeah, you get the picture." Stiles answers.

"IS THERE ANY PLACE IN OUR HOUSE YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED ON?!"

"Dude," Stiles starts. "Look, we always cleaned them afterwards. We promise. You didn't even noticed the one in your room."

Scott shivers. "You mean that wasn't yogurt?"

"It was just like yogurt to me, though, babe." Derek tells Stiles.

Stiles looks back at Derek, fondly and kisses him. "Oh, boo."

Scott just stares at them and whispers, "I need therapy."

*

_From: Wifey Allison_

_OH MY GOD_

_REALLY??_

_YOU CAUGHT THEM HAVING SEX???_

_OH MY GOD_

_I JUST CALLED LYDIA AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE NEEDS DETAILS_

_SHE WAS WITH ERICA AND BOYD BOYD WALKED OUT SAYING "I DONT NEED TO KNOW WHAT MY ALPHA IS DOING IN BED"_

_LIKE WHAT DOES HE EXPECT THO_

_DEREK DOING YOGA IN HIS BED??_

_THEY WERE DOING IT IN THE KITCHEN OH JESUS_

_HOW WAS IT_

_IS DEREK HUGE I NEED TO KNOW ITS FOR SCIENCE_

_SCIENE = LYDIA_

_** SCIENCE_

_WHO TOPS_

_DOES DEREK BOTTOM TOO_

_IS DEREK THE BOTTOM_

_ARE U OK??????_

_DID U DIE IN DEREK'S DICK_

_pls dont tell me ur having threesome with stiles & derek_

To: Wifey Allison

I JUST GOT OUT OF THEIR HOUSE THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX AGAIN I CAN FEEL IT

_From: Wifey Allison_

_this is is going to sound really bizarre_

_but_

_does stiles have a gag reflex?????_

 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/thestereks/status/500303609620226051) and got the most important of the fic [here](http://larrychats.tumblr.com/post/74412942221/meanwhile-on-the-tour-bus)
> 
> for airis.


End file.
